secret language

My mom has created a new language of approval during the wedding planning, I think it is really cute.  She really wants the wedding to be my taste but I want her there for all the decisions.  So what she does is when she doesn't like something she stays quiet.  If she likes something she speaks up.  After the first month of planning this "silent treatment" started speaking louder than when she spoke up on what she likes.  If we looked at something and she didn't like something, I would look over her and I could tell she wanted to say something but held it back.  This language made me think pass. 

I believe that if I was ever really in love with something and my mom said nothing I probably would have chosen it anyway but that never happened.  Everything I really liked my mom would see through my eyes and be just as enthusiastic about.  It's also nice sometimes to know what she's thinking without her saying anything because then I don't fell bad if I like something she hates.  Plus the vendor has no idea what's going on in those situations it's like our little code.  It meant lets get out of this venue quickly.

My sister and I of course make fun of her a little about this because she says she is so good and keeping her opinion to herself so as not to sway me.  But we all know what her every action means and she is never really silent as a result.

Do you have anyone involved in your planning that doesn't state their opinion but you know what they're thinking?

OMG I'm getting married

So just got back to work from my first meeting with my day of coordinator at Tribeca Rooftop and I'm in love with everything that is Tribeca Rooftop.  I feel this way everytime I go there.  I love the location the look but most of all how with it they are.  Oleg is our day of guy and he is awesome!!  He knew every question before I asked it, and never needed extra time to answer a question.  He just is totally on top of everything and this make me sigh a huge sigh of relief.  I feel like I have nothing to worry about and that is a huge relief.  I can totally envision everything and that's amazing feeling. 

We worked on the full schedule of the event today and not it feels really real.  OMG I'm getting married and that is all for now.

BTW I have a lot of updating to do so stay tuned.

Bridal party

When choosing my bridal party I really did not have many problems.  I didn't want a large wedding party, with people just as place holders.  I knew my sister was going to be my Maid of Honor and I felt that Mr True's Sister in Law should also be in it.  When it came to my friends there was only one person I felt had to be a part of this big day and that was my best friend.  The only issue was that my best friend is a man named Adam.  Adam is great, he keeps me entertained and laughing and he will always be by my side.  Though he will not be able to help if my dress tears on my wedding day or other girly activities he is the first person to be there for me and there is no one else I would want to be part of my day.  Mr True loves Adam too, I think because anytime I have a melt down I can talk to Adam and not bother him.  They have created a nice comradery which makes me really happy.

When I asked Adam to be in my wedding party he didn't hesitate to say yes.  He only wanted to know if he had to wear a dress.  When I said no, he was all signed on.  Then he wanted to know when the bachlorette party was because we are going to Vegas and he was in.  Anyway the only hitch was figuring out what to call him in the wedding party.  My sister was not willing to share the "of honor" title with him, she felt she deserved the title all alone and I agreed so cross off "Man of Honor".  Then we were thinking what is matching man's title to Maid.  The only one we could think of is Butler.  So that is how Adam became known as the Brides Butler.  I really like the title, not sure what jobs he is suppose to do but he makes the perfect Brides Butler and makes me laugh.  His big job is walking my grandma down the aisle which she is happy about.

Does anyone else have a man in their bridal party?  What are you calling him?

Location, Location, Location part 3

When I left off I was still searching looking for the perfect location. I started calling the top hotels around New York but soon realized that the hotel setting was not what I was looking for. I had a friend getting married at the Brooklyn botanical gardens and it looked beautiful in picture so I figured I needed to go there.

A picture inside the botanical gardens

My mom and I trekked out to Brooklyn and met with the coordinator there what a disappointment. Though the location was gorgeous the coordinator had no interest in selling the place to us. He pulled out photo albums of the location said look through these you can have your wedding ceremony any where you want here and the food looks like the pictures... My mom and I asked if we could have a tour? He said you can look around on your own. Then he walked off. He came back 15 minutes later and asked if we were ready to book...huh?? had he never heard about customer service? Cross this location off please.

We had a similar experience at the Bowery Hotel which I thought was different from regular hotels and very hip. Then when we met the sales person she was so unhelpful. She had no photos and did not answer questions. My parents and I nixed it.

a wedding on the balcony at Bowery Hotel

When we were walking out of the Bowery Hotel all I could think about was Tribeca Rooftop. It had everything I wanted and I was comparing every other location to it. I asked my dad if he would mind running over there because he was the only one who hadn't seen it so far. He said sure. We called over and Donna said come right by. I got there and when we walked in my heart sung. My dad said "I can see why you like it here." There is a rooftop to be married on. The inside has this chic downtown loft feel and everyone I have talked to who has been to event there says everything is amazing. My dad said lets talk about price and at that point I knew it was going to happen. I called Mr True and he was totally on board it turned out this was always his favorite too he just didn't want to pressure me.

It turns out everyone wanted me to be happy and my feeling of my parents pressuring me at the Mandarin was just because they thought that was the location that I wanted. When it was clear that Tribeca rooftop was my choice, they were going to make it happen. Everything worked out and I am so happy I chose this locale. I was there a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't stop smiling because everything is just what I want there. Here are some pics of it:

My Big advice to brides to be is that you need to stay true to yourself. When something doesn't feel right speak up. It is yours and your grooms day and ultimately your parents want you to be happy and they won't know what makes you happy unless you tell them.

Location, Location, Location part 2

So as I left it, my parents had said it was time to start looking at higher end locations and so we know everything that is out there.

My heart skipped a beat at the thought of the Mandarin Oriental. I had never been in the hotel but there were sweeping views of central park and it is known for it's modern minimalist look. I called and they told me that they were willing to negotiate the price...if they were telling me on the phone that they were willing to negotiate they must be desperate...I should say that when I was looking at venue last year there market was dying and the top end NYC locations were very much in the lets make a deal mentality. Anyway I called my mom and told her what the price was and that it was still negotiable and could we look? I think she heard that song in my voice that said this is my dream location. She immediately said lets go, and called my dad and he said he would meet us. Mr. True did not join us but he said that he thought the location was really cool. I felt like once I saw this it was going to be done.

Here is a picture of the Mandarin Ballroom

This place just screamed NYC and you could look out the huge window and know you were right in the center of it. So we get there and I can barely breath with my excitement. My mom and dad are also excited when we go to the entry floor to the hotel everything is gorgeous. The views can't be beat and everything from the check in desk to the bar are perfect, I'm in love. Then the event coordinator meets us and walks us up the winding steps to the ballroom and my heart doesn't jump, it just does nothing. The ballroom is just not right and everything about it just doesn't seem right. The way they want to set up the ceremony at an angle with a movable wall just was not right. The cocktail hour location in the entry hall I hate. And the carpet, you can see it a little in the picture, it is awful. Now this location is known for over the top so the event coordinator says "don't worry other people have replaced the carpet for their event." I didn't know how to respond to that. People actually replace carpeting for an event...doesn't that tell them something?? I feel like maybe I built this place up too much, it has the amazing views and it is gorgeous and I know their staff will do everything perfectly. My parents appeared to be in love. This could be a problem. There was no roof and my head I love the idea of outdoors. I kept going back in my head to the Tribeca rooftop where I could design the space because it is so empty. I thought about the room glowing how I wanted it to with candles, I could not imagine this at the Mandarin.

Image of Tribeca Rooftop

We left and went downstairs and my dad keeps going on and on about how amazing this place is. He was right the Mandarine is amazing and I was suddenly very perplexed. They both told me we have to cut down our lists and maybe we won't spend as much on the flowers. Huh?? I am not over the moon and I have to sacrifice for this place. I am kind of in shock my dream location is not what I thought and now I might be stuck because it appeared to be my parent's dream.

I left my parents to run for groceries to cook my brother a birthday meal, I was already running late. Got the groceries in a total daze thinking about what my wedding vision really was and if the Mandarin worked. I wanted my parents to be happy they loved the Mandarin, I wanted to be happy but I didn't love it and I thought I knew that Mr. True would be happy at the Mandarin. I got home just in time for my guests to arrive. One of my guests says he tried to call me and why didn't I pick up? I then started to look for my phone and it was no where to be found. I called it and no ring. I realize I have lost my phone.

This is where the panic attack starts setting in. Oh my god I don't have my phone and my dream wedding is not going to happen. I am being forced into a location I don't like and it is all my fault because I thought it was my dream....cut to total breakdown. Thoughts no longer make sense, just I am totally overwhelmed. Turns out that by my parents not setting a budget I was trying to squeeze everything into this number that I didn't know and it caused more stress. By Mr. True not speaking up I got more stressed. And by my parents who were paying loving a location I felt overwhelmed. It just all felt too stressful. I didn't want to cut my list and I didn't want to cut my flowers before I even had them. It was too much and I was hyperventilating.

This was not good, Mr. True calmed me down and my sister and other guest jumped into action and tracked down my phone. Turns out I left it on the cheese counter at Whole Foods, one less concern.

I really just needed a good night sleep I thought. When everyone left after dinner, I thought I would just sleep and be ok. Well it turns out when you're this stressed sleep does not happen. I tossed and turned all night and then called my mom first thing. It turns out she couldn't sleep either. She didn't love the location as much as I thought she just thought that I loved it. She had the same dislikes as me and she could not sleep too. We decided it was just not right and to keep looking. Then I talked to Mr. True and he still wanted to see it. I was so afraid it I brought him there he would love it and that would be it but it turned out he didn't. We went there and he hated it...what a total relief. Back to searching with Tribeca Rooftop still on my brain...

To be cont.

Ring Holder

When I first got engaged I came upon a post that mentioned a ring orb (the image above). Once I saw it I thought I have to have this. Then I thought oh my I need to have this in my wedding...a feeling I have constantly by the way. I decided I must have it and called the company and found out the one I loved in blue was sold out and all the bronze based ones were gone too. This didn't stop me though, I still bought it in purple because I loved the idea of it. I got one that says "to have" on one side and the other "to hold" I currently use it every night to hold my ring but I no longer want it in my wedding maybe because it is the purple.

After I decided this was not the right piece for my wedding I started to think what do I want to hold the rings on the wedding day? Then in ceramics class one night it hit me, I can make my own little holder. I talked to my teacher and she said it shouldn't be a problem so with that encouragement I went to work. It was actually rather easy on the wheel. Then I had to wait and wait for the kiln. Then I took my time putting our names on and other markings and then the kiln again and then voila I had the below. What do you think? Now that I have it done and love it I am still not sure if it is the right thing for the wedding day but I will definitely use it everyday to hold my ring. Mr. True can have the old ring orb for his after the wedding.

What do you think, should I use it in the wedding?

Do you ever...

Do you ever feel like you have waited long enough and you want to get married right now? Well that is how I feel. I have basically everything done and I want to just do it already. I guess 14 month engagement is just a little too long. The only thing is my dress isn't in yet and of course I still want to lose more weight (I always want to lose more weight will write about that next) but with all this anticipation that has been brewing for like ever now, I'm just ready to walk down that aisle into Mr. True's arms and start happily ever after...and also the honeymoon.

By the way the rest of Honeymoon is all booked and now I am yearning to go right now. I think I am frustrated right now because there is nothing to do this week or next week or probably the week after that. Everything left can be done in may during the last 3 weeks.

My programs are ordered, my place cards have been approved. And RSVPs have started to come in. What else is there to do? I guess there is a second wedding lull that is happening right now (I had one from November until February that was the first). I am thinking about getting my wedding license now that we're under 60 days away so we have something to do but I also want to wait until we're closer...

Am I alone in this feeling?